Unexpected, a Holiday Short Read online

  “And... what?”

  “The last question. What do you think about in the quiet times, when you’re alone?”

  I was grateful the waitress stopped by to take our orders. I added coffee to our dessert platter and by the time she left our table, I still wasn’t sure I could even get the words out.

  “I really never talk about this. And I’m not sure why I’m talking about it now. But…”

  I pulled my phone from my purse, unlocked it, and opened it to the photos app. There were several that I never deleted, that I looked at every day.

  “When I’m alone, in the quiet time, I think about my parents.” I flipped to a photo and turned the phone around so Will could see it. It had been taken in Jamaica at my parent’s thirtieth wedding anniversary. The beautiful, chocolate brown couple bore wide smiles and had their arms around each other. “Five years ago today, there was an accident. I’d picked them up from the airport after this trip. They were excited, telling me all about their vacation. I was driving, it was raining, I got distracted. I would have seen the drunk driver cross over the median if I’d been paying attention.”

  I flipped to the next photo, one of a man who had proposed to me only weeks before. “My fiancé and my parents were in the car. My parents were killed. He suffered severe injuries, but he survived.” Will’s mouth made a perfect ‘O’ shape as he stared at the photo. “But he broke off our engagement a few weeks after he got out of the hospital.”

  I clicked the button along the side of the device, locking it and sealing the photos away again. Sealing away my past again. “The driver who hit us totaled his car, but walked away from the accident with minor injuries. He’s serving ten years for vehicular homicide. He’ll probably be out in a few years. Then he can resume his life, I suppose.”

  I frowned. “My parents will still be dead. My ex-fiancé will still walk with a limp.”

  “I am so sorry, Saidah. I… I really am. I didn’t mean to bring up a painful memory.”

  “It’s not so much painful as… there. Always there. It’s been five years and I still associate this season with losing my parents. With losing a man I thought loved me enough to honor those vows he was about to take. With knowing that even though that driver was sorry, being sorry and eating three squares and watching The People’s Court every day doesn’t make up for the past five years.”

  “Of course not. Nothing makes up for losing your parents, losing someone you love.”

  I glanced up and offered him a wry smile, blinking back tears. “Wow. I really went there. I’m maudlin on Christmas. I need some new memories, I guess.”

  Will reached across the table and took both of my hands into his. His fingers, coarse with the markings of manual labor, rubbed the backs of mine. Every swipe of his fingers across my skin was soothing.

  “Maybe you could associate today with being invited out to a glass of wine or an author lecture or… somewhere down the line, a little getaway somewhere. I’m sure Faith is a great travel partner, but I know my way around an all-inclusive resort.”

  My eyes narrowed and my head tilted to the side. I was confused. I’d heard his words, but... “Are... you trying to suggest that we date?”

  An eyebrow rose. “Any reason we can’t? Or shouldn’t?”

  “Well, I used to date your brother.”

  “I’m not concerned about that at all. Jay’s definitely not concerned.”

  “And you’re four years younger than I am–”

  “Three and a half, if you’re the same age as Jay. And I’m definitely not concerned about that. We get along, so far at least. I’m old enough to know what I need to know. I’m mature and responsible. Besides, my grandmother used to say, ‘a new broom sweeps well’. You know what that means?”

  “No. What?”

  “It means younger men do it better.”

  That made me laugh. Loudly. I hadn’t really laughed in so long that it made my throat hurt.

  “So, what about you, then? You and Jay don’t have any family here? Is that why you’re freeloading at Faith’s dinner table?”

  “Sort of. Jay and I have two sisters, also half sisters. Papa was a rolling stone, I guess. Did you know that?”

  I shook my head. As much time as I spent with Jay, we weren’t good for… talking. And the more time I spent with Will, the more I saw what my life would be like, had I ended up with Jay. And I was so grateful that he’d been a little playboy and dumped me.

  “So, you know, mom and dad are gone. We have some family, but they’re spread out. We usually run a tight work schedule, so traveling for the holidays is tough. I normally spend Christmas with Jay and his wife, but this year…” Will rolled his eyes and laughed.

  “You don’t have someone special that you share holidays and once-yearly occasions with?”

  “Well, I guess I should come clean,” he said, after a moment of hesitation. The way my heart threatened to gallop out of my chest was frightening. If this man was about to show me his girlfriend, I was going to go off.

  He pulled out his phone and scrolled a few photos. He handed the phone to me, a smile trying hard to twist his lips out of the smirk he was giving me. “That brat right there has me wrapped around her fingers. Or her paws.”

  I looked down at the phone and smiled at the miniature puff of fluffy white fur that seemed to pose for her glamor shot. “Aww,” I cooed. “What’s her name?”

  “Coco. She’s a Bichon Frise, about three years old. Spoiled as hell. Other than her, I don’t have anyone I share my special moments with.” He smiled wide, then. “I’m working on it, though. Got someone in mind.”

  Our dessert arrived and then the coffee arrived. We bickered softly over who would get to try the double dark chocolate cake first; who would get the last bite of cheesecake; which of us would take the tiramisu home.

  I asked Will a litany of questions, from where he attended high school to his college major to his preference for tea over coffee and nonfiction over fiction. And, for the first time in five years, I was smiling. Laughing. Enjoying myself. And not feeling guilty about it.

  In my bag, my phone vibrated. I waited until Will was sliding his credit card into the leather envelope to check it.

  Faith Thomas: Girl. WYD??!!

  I giggled as I tapped out a message in response. On our way back soon.

  Faith Thomas: That is not even what I asked you. Where are you? Why did ya’ll leave this drunk fool here for us to deal with?

  We needed to escape. So we left. Had some dessert. Talked. Really talked. He’s cute!

  Faith Thomas: I spent hours making two cakes, and you two left CHRISTMAS DINNER to go eat dessert somewhere?

  Did I mention he’s cute? When is the last time I said somebody was cute? And he is nice, unlike his brother. He was trying to make up for Jay. How is he, by the way?

  Faith Thomas: Passed out and drooling on my suede couch! After he bitched about his wife for an hour. I told Anthony to never invite anybody over here ever again.

  I’m sorry, but I’m cracking TF up. We're on our way back. Will will take his brother home and he’ll be out of your hair.

  Faith Thomas: And then I am going to put these kids to bed and drink an entire bottle of wine.

  Faith Thomas: And don’t think you’re getting out of telling me about this whirlwind date you decided to go on.

  I laughed. locking the phone and tucking it back into my purse. Will stood, then reached for my jacket, holding it while I slid my arms into it.

  “Ready?” He asked. I nodded, slipping my hand into his. “We in trouble?”

  “Oh yeah,” I answered, snickering. “It was worth it, though.”

  “It really was,” he said, grinning over at me. And then that brown eye winked at me again.

  5

  I was in no hurry to get back, so I took my time, meandering through the neighborhood, the bare tree branches kissed by the rose glow of dusk. Talking to Will had become easier, the more time we spent together. I sudden
ly had so much to say and someone new to say those things to. I only hoped he felt the same.

  I pulled into the driveway behind the SUV. I chuckled, again, at the parking job. “Did Jay drive here?”

  Will dipped his head, an embarrassed half-grin on his lips. “He picked me up. I shouldn’t have let him drive.”

  “I hope you don’t have too many problems getting him out of here.”

  “Me too. And he and I are going to have a talk about his drinking. He could have hurt someone.” Will glanced over at me, not with pity but a gentle sympathy.

  I smiled back, grateful that he’d internalized what it meant to me to lose my parents the way I did. “It would mean a lot to me if you’d talk to him about that. Tell him about my parents. He can make up for today by not hurting anyone else with his drinking.”

  “Sure.” He sighed, his gaze traveling to the front door of the house, a brilliant red against the light toned brick. “I guess I’d better get in there and rescue Faith and Anthony, but… could I…”

  “What?” I asked when he paused.

  “I can’t decide what to ask first—to kiss you or to see you again.”

  I let a sultry chuckle fall from my lips. “The answer is going to be yes, either way.”

  “Just in case I didn’t make it clear… I apologize for my brother. Deeply. But from now on, things are going to be about me and you. I’m going to call you tomorrow and we’re going to talk about things that have nothing to do with Jay Hunter. How does that sound?”

  “Deal,” I started to say, but it was cut off by warm, thick lips dusted with sugar from multiple desserts. I moaned, twisting in my seat to get closer, but he pulled back and broke off the kiss. To say I was disappointed would be an understatement.

  “Gotta leave you something to look forward to.” He winked at me. That gorgeous eye winked at me again. The dome light popped on as he opened his door and exited the car. “Goodnight, Saidah. Talk to you tomorrow. We’ll do some more work on reshaping your Christmas memories.”

  “Okay,” I said as I exhaled a breath. I’m not even sure I said the word. “Goodnight, Will.”

  The front door opened, spilling light from indoors into the yard as I pulled away. I should have gone inside, talked to Faith, gossiped about my date, had some wine and some more cake…

  But I wanted to be alone. And not in a bad way. I wanted some time to myself, to sit and remember and smile about my afternoon, to think about something besides the images that had plagued me for years, the sadness and the loss that had been my constant companion, but now seemed to have ebbed away.

  I had a new Christmas memory and a small spot of hope. I wanted to spend some time thinking about that, for a change.

  6

  “I’m so looking forward to a few days off,” Faith mused, weaving between the aisles at HomeGoods, one of her favorite stores. Sure, there was Williams Sonoma, Kitchen Virtue or the Food Network shops, but Faith found the best gems on the racks and shelves at HomeGoods. “The kitchen closes tomorrow and we don’t open up again until New Year’s Eve.”

  “I hear you.”

  She glanced over her shoulder to cut her eyes at me. “Mkay, says she who has been off work for a week already. I knew I should have been a teacher. You get all kinds of vacation.”

  “I need all kinds of vacation. Those kids are two full-time jobs. Add the ‘at risk’ qualifier and I don’t even know why you’re complaining about me getting time off. I don’t want to see those beautiful brown faces until January 3rd at the earliest.”

  “I guess,” she said, sighing. “Then can I be jealous about your post-Christmas plans, at least? I mean…” She reached for a ceramic tea-kettle and tipped it up to peer at the price tag. She grimaced and set it back down. “Jamaica? Isn’t Will laying it on a little thick?”

  “You know what this is? Payback. You’ve been married, what… thirteen years now? Do you know how many stories I’ve had to listen to about your happily ever after? Dozens. Dozens, I say. You just settle down over there, old married lady, and listen to my happy stories.”

  “Well, not-so-quietly, I’m excited that you have happy stories. Especially this time of year. It’s so nice to see you smiling, and out and about, your place all decorated again. Tell your stories, girl. Don’t let the fact that Anthony has never surprised me with a trip to Jamaica over the holidays deter you from bragging your face off, okay?”

  “How come you don’t sound committed to that statement?”

  “Cause I’m not. I’m salty as hell. Tell Will to tell Anthony the honeymoon ain't over in the Thomas household. He can still woo me. I can still be impressed.”

  Faith waved a hand over the hodgepodge collection of cookware and utensils and frowned. “There’s nothing here I can’t live without. Let’s go get some hot chocolate and a cookie. You can help me finalize Christmas dinner.”

  Faith and I left the store and headed to her small SUV parked a few spots from the door. As we climbed into the vehicle, I uttered a quiet admission. “I’m a little nervous about this trip to Jamaica. I mean, I told him I wanted to go, because it was the last trip my parents took before…”

  I swallowed the lump trying to form in my throat. Nearly six years and I still couldn’t talk about my parents. I was working through it, though. I’d finally started seeing a therapist to take my life back from the tragic accident that took them from this world.

  “It’s not the same resort, is it?”

  “No, no. Not the same resort.” I shook my head. “But it’s still… I don’t know. Is it creepy to want to go there? To repeat the last vacation they took, to want to see the spot where they sat and took that last picture?”

  “Not... creepy, no. But do you think you’ll find something there? Some kind of meaning or closure? You’ll probably be disappointed, if you’re expecting a big emotional moment.”

  “I don’t know what I think, Faith. I just know that I feel like I need to go.”

  “Then you should go. And if someone thinks that's creepy, well…” She shrugged a shoulder, then pressed the ignition button. The vehicle rumbled to life. “They don’t have to live your life, do they?”

  No, I mused. I supposed they didn’t. And, as of late, my life had been pretty damned good, and I wanted to live it myself.

  I’d met Will on Christmas Day the year before, at Faith’s house. Her husband had invited my old college flame to dinner and, despite my plans to sack out on the couch watching Christmas movies and drinking spiked cocoa, Faith lured me to her house.

  Where I took the leap towards healing and let someone climb over that fortified brick wall I had built around my heart.

  “Please promise me you and Will will not disappear halfway through dinner this year.”

  I snorted before I took a sip of my salted caramel latte. “I make no promises. Especially since you let your husband invite Jay again.”

  Faith sighed loudly and rolled her eyes before dropping them to the notepad sitting in front of her. She had listed what she planned to cook for Christmas dinner and was trying to cobble a shopping list out of the menu.

  “I told Anthony that if we have a repeat of last year, that I will send him and Jay somewhere by themselves. Hell if I let him ruin dinner two years in a row, not when I’m making my prime rib with horseradish cream. The only reason he is coming this year is to apologize for last year.”

  “Yeah, well, I’ve had my share of spending time with him. His AA journey has been inspiring, and I’m happy he and his wife have reconciled, but he’s still the same insufferable buffoon from college. I don’t even know what I saw in him.”

  “So it’s still not weird, dating your college love’s younger brother?”

  “He’s not my college love. He’s a guy I dated. And no, it’s not weird. Will is nothing like Jay. That’s what I love about him.”

  I grinned, knowing I was beaming from my wide forehead to the tips of my toes. But it was okay. I was crazy in love and it felt good.

&nb
sp; “Speaking of Will,” I noted, checking my watch. “He’s probably in the kitchen. It’s his night to make dinner and I like to help.”

  Faith nodded, tipping back the red paper cup to sip the last of her hot chocolate. “I’d better head home, too. Anthony has had the girls all day. I can only hope he hasn’t burnt the house down trying to make pizza.”

  “He’d better not. I want my prime rib with horseradish cream.”

  7

  “Honey! I’m home!”

  I unlocked the door and swept inside the condo, dropping my purse on the table in the entryway and pulling my jacket from my shoulders. It had rained; I made it home in time to save my fresh Dominican blowout.

  I heard a sharp bark, then saw a streak of white careening around the corner, paws sliding on the wood floors, she was in such a hurry.

  “Hi, punkin!” I reached down to pick up Coco, laughing at her body wriggling in my arms and the soft sandpaper scrub of her tongue against my cheek. “You’re exactly who I hoped would come running when I said honey, I’m home. Where’s Will? Huh, girl?”

  “Kitchen!” He called, though I could have figured that. Will loved to cook and savored the nights when it was his turn. Between him and Faith, I had worked in an extra Zumba workout, because hell if I was ever missing a meal.

  At the mention of his name, he poked his head around the corner and smiled. “I’m elbow deep up a chicken’s ass or I’d run down the hall and lick your face, too.”

  “Just one thing licking my face is enough. Let me wash up and take off my shoes and I’ll be right in.”

  “Take your time,” he said, heading back to the kitchen.

  I hung a right into the bedroom, dumping Coco on the bed, where she curled up in her usual spot on Will’s pillow. We had been dating about six months when we decided to go for it and move him and Coco to my place. Will didn’t want to renew his apartment lease, and I owned a place, so although it seemed early, things had worked out perfectly. They fit right in, like they’d always been there, and I hardly remembered what life was like before Will. And Coco.